


Come Back Home

by GazeReiRu



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec is a secret romantic, Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Clary Fray & Alec Lightwood Friendship, Homophobic Language, Idiots in Love, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Protective Isabelle Lightwood, Sad Alec, Sad Magnus, Sappy Ending, Supportive Clary Fray, Supportive Isabelle Lightwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-06-28 03:09:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15698916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GazeReiRu/pseuds/GazeReiRu
Summary: The one chapter that goes deeper into how both Magnus and Alec coped with the break up while their friends and family watch from the side lines. Alec and Magnus are such idiots and very much in love with each other.-switches POV from both Magnus and Alec a few times-





	Come Back Home

**Author's Note:**

> I love angst with a happy ending so here is my take on how things played out during the Malec break up.

Having Magnus in his life was like breathing air for Alexander, he had gotten so used to the mans presence, the idea of him belonging within his heart that he had forgotten what it felt like to not have that. Along with his insecurities and innocence within their relationship one of the ideas he hadn’t thought of was what Magnus’ back would look like when suddenly he was at his lowest.

He had fallen so fast and hard for the warlock almost unknowingly and often, he had thoughts the man would realize how young and unneeded he was, still he never thought he would be afraid until just moments ago.

It had been his first relationship and so he was unfamiliar with how they worked except from looking at his siblings, both whom he would rather not compare such things to. He was not ready nor expecting his small mistake to cause the man he loved to walk away with his heart possibly never to return it. Izzy had always told him that Shadowhunter’s loved once and hard, much like Mundanes, his love for Magnus was it for him. Magnus will and would be his one and only, and Alec had loved the idea of being in love because the feelings of high he got when he was with the man.

Now he stood still, staring at the elevator door that had been closed for over a minute almost like he was hoping Magnus would walk back to him and forget the whole thing. The longer he spent staring the more he realized that the warlock wasn’t coming back. “Alec? We need you to- what happened?” Isabelle stood a few feet away from her brother and looked to him with concern. She had known him well enough to see when Alec was upset or hurting, now she could see the pain in not only his face but by the way he stood. 

Alec looked back swallowing a big lump in his throat before opening his mouth and then closing it, looking away. His breath got a little heavy and he felt his eyes burning, this was where he needed to escape. He couldn’t show, Izzy especially, how weak he was at the moment and he was sure from the pain in his heart, straining their Parabatai bond, that Jace would be coming to find him soon as well.

“I’m fine.” Alec said roughly before turning to walk down the hall, past his sister, who stayed still knowing full well that Alec would not share.

The second Alec got back to his room the man felt his tears finally begin to fall down his face. It was strange, he had never been the kind of man to cry, wasn’t easily shaken with the need to cry and instead bottle it up. Once he had begun crying though, he couldn’t stop as if he had finally broken from all of the expectations, all the years of struggle within his life and the dread of the way he felt. He had definitely felt like he had deserved bad doings but not such like this, this was a new feeling of self-hate, one that he knew would destroy him. Alec welcomed it with open arms.

Alec fell onto his bed and literally cried his heart onto his bed sheets, ones he hadn’t laid on for a full night since Magnus and he had finally taken the next step in their relationship.

Several moments passed with nothing but the silence and his raw sobs before there was a loud knock at the door. “Alec?”

The soft voice had usually been annoying but strangely it sounded comforting and it made him snap up in his bed, his tears still flowing down his face and a loud sound erupted from his throat. If anyone within the institute could understand his pain, it would be her, her mundane ways had always been softer compared to the Claves.

“Alec?” His name was called once again and the door opened revealing the red head, “I saw you running down the halls...you’re not okay are you.” It was a statement as she took in the mans appearance. The two of them had never gotten along until Alec had met Magnus and even then, they still had a bit of a strained relationship.

“I’m fine. I’ll be fine.” Alec rubbed his hand over his face, his eyes puffy and his body tired from crying.

“Is it Magnus?”

He sucked in a breath and felt a new wave of dread fill him as a shiver went down his body. The chocked sob was all Clary needed to know the answer though. “He broke up with me, I was having a hard time trying to figure out how to tell Magnus about the soul sword. If I should tell him and...it blew up in my face.”

Clary’s face gave a look of distress and she edged closer to the bed, “It seems you were both hurt.”

Normally Alec would’ve been snarky if someone had said something so obvious except the hushed voice the girl used was comforting and calming. He chuckled bitterly over his chocked sobs, his tears finally beginning to dry. “Yeah.”

“Do you want a hug?” Clary asked as she sat on Alec’s bed, the man looked up at her like she had grown another head but with the way he looked currently it didn't hold as much threat and while the question sunk in all Alec could do was look down at his tear stained sheets.

It was hesitant but he slowly rested his head on Clary’s shoulder, it had been so long since he had been comforted by a woman that it felt strange. He could barely remember the times his mother would tuck him into bed or hold his sister and him when they had nightmares. Those days were long gone, just a memory he forgot was his.

Clary smiled a little sadly and wrapped his arms around the man, one hand burying itself inside the Shadowhunter’s hair. “You’ll be okay.”

Alec only let himself become vulnerable for those few moments in Clary’s shoulder before his facade, something he had not needed in a while, surfaced and he pulled away from the embrace. “This never happened.”

“Yes sir.” Clary smiled a bit more genuinely, she could tell how embarrassed this event had made him and the girl did respect the man for being so strong. “Never happened.”

\---

Alexander fit, that’s all Magnus could say about the man. Shadowhunter or not Alec had made his way into the warlock’s life without his realization, before he had even noticed he was in love. Alec had not been like his ex’s, he had not had the life experience or the intentions that his past lovers held within them. The Shadowhunter was innocent, full of so much love, so much to give and Magnus knew he did not deserve him.

Having known all this, it definitely did not make his decision to walk away from his boyfriend any easier. Alexander fit so well with him, better than anyone he had ever loved making him the only one that mattered within his eyes.The only reason he had not waltzed back to Alec was because of his people who needed him as a leader, he couldn’t seem to find an in between where he could help his people while also keeping the man he loved as well.

When he made it back to the loft he sat down on his couch, everything felt cold and lonely within his home now that he knew after doing that to Alec, the man would probably never show his face around Brooklyn again.

He had a people to save however, he took a deep breath and stood back up. He could grieve later, now Magnus had to go seek the Seelie Queen out once again for the Downworld’s sake. The warlock didn’t have to look far though, the Seelie queen wanted to be found due to the flower having died within Magnus’ breast pocket.

“So, you’ve chosen your own people over that young and naïve Shadowhunter.” She stood a far with two others beside her on either side.

Magnus sucked in a breath of air, it took him everything not to strike out at the only person on his side at the moment. “Alexander may be naïve and young but I hope you understand that I would rather you not slander his name your highness.”

She smirked and crossed her arms but nodded in understanding. “I may be manipulative and cold but even I have my respect. Now let us talk about negotiations, I’m sure the Shadowhunter’s will not agree to any terms we lay out, as such we still need to meet with their consul to make it official that we will be stopping all their movements. Our first course of action is blocking portal use, we need to trap Valentine and finally end this.”

Magnus sighed softly and agreed, it hurt him but he knew this would be for the best. In the end Magnus could only hope that Alec would forgive him.

\---

“You’ll be fine Alec,” Izzy reached up and patted her brother’s cheek lightly.

Alec made a strained face and looked away, it had already gotten around that Magnus had broken up with the Shadowhunter. This led to the people of the Clave, whom had already had their doubts, speak more freely about Alec’s sexuality.

Within the last 24 hours all of his insecurities that he had hid deep into his heart were written on his sleeves once again, and the Shadowhunter’s that would pass by calling him names or whispering behind his back did not help.

“You make it sound so easy Iz.” He looked around as the meeting with the Downworlder’s neared, Izzy, Jace, and Alec already lay in wait for the subjects of their meeting to show.

“It’s not easy but I know you Alec, you know how to pull business and feelings apart when needed.” She pulled her hand away and smiled but not with happiness, it was more strained.

He looked at Isabelle sadly before sighing as he heard the door open, their guests finally arriving. Alec looked at all who entered, his eyes settling on Magnus first, “He’s the first persn I’ve ever felt like I could just let go of my duties with.”

Isabelle looked back and felt her heart go out to her brother, if they were both looking at the same warlock it would’ve been easy to see that the man didn’t show any emotional distress with being there.

“Let’s just get this over with,” Alec said walking past Isabelle who glanced at Jace.

The blonde had been silent, only observing his Parabatai while he spoke because even if Alec was lying with his words Jace could still feel his heart hurt slightly through their bond. Seeing his brother and Parabatai like this was new for him, Alec had always seemed as if nothing affected him but now all he could feel was the broken heart Magnus had left in his wake.

“Thank you all for coming on short notice, let us discuss recent events shall we.” Alec had avoided eye contact with Magnus although he would accidently slide his glance the man who had been overwhelmingly quiet.

“Yes, let us talk, we would rather not make any agreement with the Clave having lied about the soul sword. We are here to inform you that we will no longer have this alliance and will protect ourselves. It is our demon blood Valentine is after and sad as it is, you Shadowhunter’s have spent too much time fooling around.” The Seelie Queen smiled deviously and it made a shiver go down Alec’s spine at the overwhelming power this one person seemed to have. Aside from that, the demand in her voice made Alec feel voiceless.

Alec gapped a bit and he put his hands behind his back, something he did when he felt vulnerable and it didn’t escape Magnus’ eyes.

“It seems were done saying what we wanted, goodbye Shadowhunter’s.” The Queen said before starting to head towards the door with the rest of the Downworlder’s.

‘Goodbye Alexander’ Alec stared at Magnus as he left again looking at his back, their last meeting still within his mind. Alec sucked in a deep breath and closed his eyes, his tongue sliding out to wet his lips. His whole body felt light and his ears rang loudly, this was it, this meeting made it all the more official. Magnus and Alec were no more.

\---

As Magnus walked out of the institute it felt like he was breaking up with Alec all over again, another hard decision. What had his mind going however was the stares and whispers of the other Shadowhunter’s as they stared, Magnus could only guess they were staring at him. He could pick up on several phrases and words used with not only his name within it but Alec’s, it caused him to worry.

If this is how these people acted by just his presence he wondered what Alec was going through and although Magnus was proud of his sexuality the words still hurt. It took all of Magnus not to look back to the meetings room to see what he had left just moments ago, he was a few hundred years old however, he had self-restraint.

“Do you regret it?” Magnus heard Luke’s voice echo through his thoughts.

“No. This is all for my people, even if I have to leave this,” he hadn’t been very descriptive on what ‘this’ was but Luke seemed to understand.

“You’ll figure it out, Alec really loves you.”

“I know...I know.” Magnus smiled sadly, he really did not deserve Alec.

“Don’t do that Magnus, I know you well enough to know that that face.”

Magnus sighed and looked over at Luke, the two didn’t speak to each other much but the Warlock wore his heart on his sleeves, even the werewolf knew his thoughts. “I’m still angry at him but it doesn’t make me feel any less bad for making Alexander feel so...” the man couldn’t find the right words to describe the face Alec had make when Magnus had left him.

Luke patted the man’s back and sighed “, Like I said, you’ll figure it out, the both of you.”

“I hope you’re right.”

\---

They were getting so close to finishing this once and for all, Valentine was close to getting caught while Alec and Izzy stayed back in attempt to close the hole to hell with the help of Magnus. Alec hadn’t been to happy about needing the warlocks help but he was the most powerful of all of his people and the only person that would possibly even care despite their break up.

Over the last 72 hours Alec had taken all of his feelings and had shoved them deep down into his heart, Isabelle had become concerned claiming he was starting to see the Alec before Magnus had saved him. The Shadowhunter just snorted, he found it funny that the man who saved his soul had also delivered that same piece of him into pain and agony.

He tried to ease his mind and even make excuses for his ex but even his common sense could not save him from those insecurities that once plagued his mind.

“Are you going to be alright?” Alec hated himself, he had asked that at least three times since they had made it to the institute. Every time Magnus flinched and his face showed the slightest of pain all the feelings he had bottled up would flair with worry, he hated it, especially since his own adoration was not reflected into Magnus’ eyes. There was a void he had put between them and although he was upset at Magnus for breaking up with him, he was angry with himself for thinking he could let himself have what he wanted instead of following the Claves rules.

“I’m fine Alec.” Magnus said irritated with the Shadowhunter for worrying.

Alec felt his throat tighten at the way Magnus had said his name and grimaced before his breath caught within his lungs. He grabbed his hip with a startling cry, his eyes widening as his Parabatai rune blossomed with a pain he had never felt before.

“Alec!” Isabelle screamed and rushed over to Magnus who was holding onto Alec.

Alec’s screams filled the institute and his body collapsed to the ground as he gripped his rune so hard he was sure it would bruise. “Jace!”

Magnus’ face filled with worry, the first emotion he had let cross his face for the Shadowhunter. Isabelle tensed up as Alec pulled back his shirt and Magnus’ heart hurt for the man. The rune that connected Jace to him had vanished, “Jace is dead.”

Alec really couldn’t catch a break, he felt as if he had betrayed Magnus, said man had broken up with him, and now his Parabatai was dead no rune to even remind him of his brother.

Everything felt like it was too much, his whole life had been so chronologically made for him until it wasn’t.

“Alec?” Both Isabelle and Magnus called out his name, he looked at the two before pulling away from them, his face guarded once again.

“We need to finish this,” Alec said softly, standing slowly and closed his eyes with a sigh to compose himself. “Jace was at Lake Lynn.”

\---

“I felt you die, how are you here?” Alec felt dizzy as he looked at his Parabatai standing alive and breathing.

“I don’t know, but I’m here, look at your rune.” Jace said point exactly to the rune that had disappeared on Alec’s hip not so long ago.

Alec did as he was told and lifted his shirt a bit, Magnus’s stare did not escape his notice; although he wasn’t worried about Magnus at the moment. He moved across the way before hugging the blonde tightly within his arms. “By the Angel, you’re never allowed to do that again.”

Jace smiled a little and returned the hug before glancing up at Isabelle and Magnus, he glared at the warlock for a long moment before he buried his face into Alec’s shoulder. “Never again.”

After the two pulled away Jace sighed softly before sharing a look with Clary who smiled genuinely at him, the shared look made Alec happy but also slightly envious. “Let’s get out of here, Valentines finally gone. We’re all safe.”

“We have a lot to talk about when we get back,” Isabelle said happily before glancing at Magnus who had remained quiet throughout their reunion, “A lot of feelings to address.”

Magnus squirmed a bit under the woman’s stare as he turned awkwardly and worked his magic to make a portal back to the institute, “After you.”

Alec was the last to enter the portal before Magnus and he glanced at the man with an unguarded gaze, one that only held pain and love. Alec wanted to say something but as he stared at the warlock he felt like he wasn’t allowed that right and turned before walking through the portal, leaving Magnus behind.

\---

“You need to talk to him at some point Alec.” Isabelle walked up beside her brother and poked his chest roughly, “You both are hurting and this pity party the both of you are having is annoying.”

Alec rolled his eyes and snorted, “You really think I wouldn’t if there was an option? I betrayed him Iz, I lied to him and he was so hurt. Even if he wanted me back it wouldn’t be the same, I’d be terrified of making a mistake again.”

Isabelle didn’t know how to answer Alec and stayed silent, times where her brother would share his feelings with her where rare enough, yet every time these moments arose she never knew what to say. Alec’s insecurities were valid, especially for a mortal who grew up trying to constantly please others, he was too kind for his own good. “Please just talk to Magnus, I can’t see you in any more pain.”

“I’ll think about it.” He looked straight ahead as they made their way to Hunter’s Moon. Alec had never been one for parties but as the newest head of the institute and the image he was attempting to make with Downworlder’s his presence was necessary.

It was silent the rest of the way to the bar, it was only the two of them since Jace had left with Clary while Magnus disappeared completely. Once the two Lightwoods finally made their way into the bar Alec was the first to look around the perimeter to make sure it was safe, Isabelle seemed to be more concerned about whether her favorite Downworlder friends had shown up to the gathering.

Alec shook his head and sighed, this was a gathering to celebrate nothing else, he need not be afraid of anything besides Magnus was there along with other friendly powerful allies. Alec closed his eyes and controlled his emotions before walking deeper into the crowd so that he could find the people he was comfortable with, most of whom were occupied with other people at the moment.

Alec was seriously considering leaving after the first few minutes seeing as yet again he was almost see through with people like Jace and Magnus, their charismatic personalities could never be obtainable for him. Alec sighed softly before he began sifting through the crowd, he had every intention of leaving but someone had grabbed his arm. Every part of his being had hoped it was Magnus but as he looked back at the person holding him hostage he recognized them as another warlock, a male warlock.

“How can I help you?” Alec had zero patience, not after stupidly getting his hopes up.

“Dance with me? I mean you are single now aren’t you.” The man said with a smirk, the warlocks mark showing slightly a top his head in the form of horns.

“No thanks, I have a lot to do.” And that was the lamest excuse he had ever let escape his lips, especially after all the work that had been keeping him busy was now dead.

“Don’t be like that, let’s just have fun.” The man purred and slid his hand up Alec’s arm, “we can even get out of here later if you’d like, I hear you like getting fucked and used by warlocks.”

Alec had enough, he pulled away and walked the opposite way, he needed something familiar.

“Alexander.” The Shadowhunter moved his head so fast to see where he had left his heart that he was sure his neck would be sore later.

“Magnus.” His voice cracked with emotion, he was just so tired, emotionally and physically.

“Join me?” Magnus seemed nervous about Alec’s answer, it was strange to see the man so vulnerable, it did help Alec feel more at ease though.

“Yeah, I’d like that,” he said before slowly sliding next to the man with a sigh of relief, even if there was obvious tension in the air around them he was just glad that he had gotten out of the previous situation. “Whiskey on rocks,” Alec called out to the bartender behind the counter before taking a chance glance at Magnus.

They both seemed to feel the tension, Magnus was awkwardly staring into his martini with this overwhelming silence which was a first within their relationship as friends or lovers, there had always been something to talk about when Magnus was in the room.

“Can I talk to you?” completely forgetting about the drink he had just ordered, he stood up and started walking towards the back entrance, there were less people to stop him from leaving this time.

Magnus looked ten times tenser as he sucked down the rest of his martini before getting up and following the Shadowhunter outside. When they both made it outside Alec turned towards him anxiously, his façade down and his feelings open on his sleeves for his ex-lover to see.

“I don’t think I can live without you Magnus, I tried but these past few days. They’ve been torture.” Alec had never been good with his word choice but he seemed to get it right when it mattered.

Magnus’ eyes melted under the confession and his glamour faded slightly, “Well I could do nothing but think about you. I thought I had to chose between the Downworld and you, but I don’t.”

Alec felt like what he had said was a good thing, that they were making progress but his own mind doubted him for a moment before Magnus walked closer to him. “I know a very smart man, he once told me ‘relationships take effort’.”

Alec smiled at the nice memory between the two and looked down for a moment before his eyes locked onto Magnus’ cat eyes. “That was an understatement.”

Magnus smiled slightly and moved his hands to Alec’s arms. “You know what’s not?”

The mans voice was so soft that the Shadowhunter had even doubted that anything came from the warlock’s mouth but he made a soft sound for Magnus to tell him what the answer was.

“This,” again Magnus whispered as he leaned closer into Alec before their lips met. It wasn’t a passionate or a sloppy kiss to what he had been used to, it had a softness to it, one that washed away all of the ugly thoughts within his mind, one that said ‘I forgive you’.

Alec sighed into the mans mouth before slowly kissed back, of course the moment didn’t last long and they both pulled away. “I’m all for parties but I would like to get out of here.”

Alec smiled slightly and nodded silently, their hands intertwining. “Can we walk back...like our first date.”

Magnus looked into the Shadowhunter’s eyes with so much love from the memory that they both shared of that night, even if it was interrupted by Jace. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

The walk back to the loft was quiet, the both of them within their own thoughts. Alec glanced at Magnus whenever he thought the man wasn’t looking and just admired him, he felt his thoughts simmer inside of himself to the point where they might explode.

“Magnus,” He started. “I’m so sorry. The thing with the soul sword, I should’ve told you right when I found out.”

Magnus slowed down and turned his gaze to the Shadowhunter, “You’re forgiven it’s all behind us.”

Alec shook his head and looked straight ahead, “It still hurt you, I still betrayed your trust.”

“And I hurt you as well Alexander, even if I was hurt for a mistake, I purposely hurt you as well.” Magnus was not proud knowing he had hurt the man when he walked away all those days ago but it had happened and nothing could change that. “I also know I wasn’t the only one who hurt you.”

Alec felt his shoulders become tense, his face crinkling up as he looked back on the past few days.

***

“Alec Lightwood, look at you all helpless. How does it feel knowing that Magnus Bane only used you as a slut before throwing you away?” It was one of many taunting’s he had gotten but each time felt worst.

The man walked right past the Downworlder who had said it, yes, his own people would whisper about him, but they were too cowardly to say anything to his face.

“Hey, I’m talking to you! Such a Lightwood, whore.” The Downworlder whispered the last part but it was heard none the less.

***

“It’s fine, it was not bad.” Alec sighed and the frown on his face made Magnus suspicious about his lover’s reaction.

“You’re not fine. What happened?” Magnus moved his hand over to run through Alec’s hair.

“They...They called me your whore. Well most of them, the others just claimed I was naïve. Someone asked me if I wanted to have sex because I liked...’getting boned by a warlock’ and that’s just the PG version.” Alec avoided his lover’s eyes and looked down at his feet when Magnus stopped them.

They were just a block away from the loft and Alec could feel the anger coming off of him. “Wait Alexander are you saying only Downworlder’s said things?”

Alec chanced a look at Magnus, a tight frown on his face. “The Shadowhunter’s are not stupid, they kept their opinions away from me, even if I did hear them.”

“Alec answer me.” Magnus asked impatiently.

“Yes. Only Downworlder’s approached me on the matter.” Alec shifted on his feet and felt a bit awkward, he didn’t want Magnus to feel like it was his duty to talk to his own people about this.

Magnus stood with horror on his face, his fury still raging inside. Alec would never admit it but he found it quite attractive when Magnus was pissed off at someone, if that someone was not him that is. “Those...ungrateful little. I’m sorry you had to hear those things.”

“It’s nothing I didn’t deserve.” Alec countered and shrugged, he really did believe that he deserved his insecurities being brought out, especially after the pain he had put Magnus through.

“No one deserves that Alexander, no one.” 

Alec closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, letting all of his pain and insecurities leave him on his exhale. When he opened his eyes again he found Magnus’ eyes once again and smiled slightly, “It’s okay, I’m okay.”

Magnus let out a breath of relief he hadn’t known he was holding as he moved closer to the Shadowhunter and cupped his cheek lightly. “You know I worry about you.”

It was more of a statement than a question but Alec still nodded with acknowledgement. “I know.”

“Good, now let’s get inside, I really need you and me in my bed asap,” Magnus dragged out the sentence with desire and need in his voice, trying to change the subject to a much happier one.

Alec blushed immediately with a small squeak, “Magnus!”

Magnus looked back at his boyfriend with a chuckle of innocence. “What? I was talking about cuddling, what were you thinking my naughty Nephilim.”

This induced Alec into another fit of blushing and stuttering, “You are just...by the angel Magnus.”

Magnus just continued to chuckle softly, moving his hand to grab at Alec’s, pulling them away from the street and up the apartment building that would lead them to the loft.

Alec watched the warlock, almost in slow motion, his eyes creasing as he laughed, the sound of his laugh, the way his teeth were on display from his aching smile, it was like watching the beginnings of time for Alec. The Warlocks make up was a bit messed up, the glitter that was once on his eye lids were making its way down his cheeks and the gel within his hair was starting to give. A warm feeling inside the Shadowhunter’s chest formed and he smiled softly from his lips, up to his eyes. Alec had missed this feeling, the high of being so deeply in love, it was this moment that he realized the love had never left. It wasn’t the love or even the feeling of love that he missed, it was that small clip of time within every day, when he looked at Magnus, really looked and fell in love with the warlock all over again. It was Magnus and it always would be, through the fights and even through stupid disputes about the Chairman, Magnus would never be anything but home.

“Aku cinta kamu.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
